A friend of mine once bought me a thrift store t-shirt that read “Optimists Club” on the front. It was an eye doctor’s softball team jersey from the 70s. The irony being that I am neither an eye doctor nor an optimist in the sense of…perspective. In fact, I’m probably closer to having a medical diploma than seeing the bright side of things and honestly, I don’t even know what a femur is.
However, recently I’ve been “blessed” with losing my job for the second time in one year. This has forced me to take long, introspective walks. That, and figure out what the F I am doing with my life. Bravely, my husband stood along side me and said, “you know, you’re a pretty negative person. Maybe you should fix that first.” He’s so much smarter than I am. He’s also got a pretty good point. In order to make shit happen in my life, I think I need to join the club. The Optimists club!
For all of you aspiring designers, business owners, artists, magicians and straight up lost souls generally of the half empty type – this is a look into my thought process before making the very serious commitment to *positivity.* I sincerely hope it helps you on your long walk to figure shit out. More after the jump…
The issues to consider before you make the change:
1. Your stand up career is dead
CONS – positivity is not nearly as funny as negativity. Deepak Chopra: not funny. At all. Richard Pryor: hilarious.
PROS – sure, you’re not as funny but you’ll be a hell of a lot nicer spreading wisdom and joy.
Aaaaaand you’ll be less likely to freebase cocaine and consequently set yourself on fire. Yay! (We love you, Richard. R.I.P.)
2. Self Representation
CONS – By adopting a wholly positive lifestyle you may get lumped into a group, subset or culture that you vehemently oppose with every fiber of your being, i.e. those that do not wear deodorant, those that carry bibles into China, those that honeymoon in Disneyland…sorry, that shit just bums me out.
PROS – You’ll surprise people when you have a positive response or outlook to a difficult situation. I certainly don’t like to be stereotyped or pigeon holed. I also loathe being called Daria. Or bitch. So having someone pause and say “Ooh!” is very, very satisfying.
3. Shit is hard
CONS – Just plain hard to come back from “you’re not exactly what we’re looking for,” “I think we’re going to go in another direction,” or “You’re fired.”
PROS – There is power in positivity; the power to see these situations as opportunities. My response to “you’re fired” was my opportunity to say thank you, now I can do everything in the world that I’ve ever wanted to do without wasting 8 hours staring at a Word doc. Peace out!
4. You’re accountable to your positive outlook
CONS – All of your failure is because of you and what you didn’t do.
PROS – All of your success is because of you and what you did do.
Side note: writing a check out to yourself – mindblowingly fantastic, I assume.
We’ve all heard of the power of positive thinking. Sounds corny, but if I dismissed everything according to that criteria, I’d never be able to enjoy national treasures like Lady Gaga or Cookie Crisp cereal.
Magical things can happen when you put yourself out there and try to make the most of it. Positive thinking, positive actions. It’s easy. All you have to do, is DO IT.
Image of seriously full glass by Michael Rolph, via Booooooom.
Tags: Advice, business, design, Lady Gaga, life, positive thinking
November 12th, 2010 at 8:24 am
As someone who’s been dogged for 33 years for being too negative, I think a positive attitude has to be tempered with a pretty strong BS firewall, too. I mean, what if everyone in Nazi Germany were just like, “Well, OK, this isn’t great, but hey, our trains are always on time”? So sometimes a little negativity is important such that one can not lose sight of the effed-uppedness of certain situations, and then optimism can kick in and help you figure out how to make that shit right. Which I think is what you’re saying. Mazeltov!
November 12th, 2010 at 8:48 am
EXCELLENT point, Katherine. So glad you actually read this stuff. I always miss something kinda huge in my posts, ha. BS firewall for sure. Personally, I’m hoping to just tone down my gut reaction to the world since I haven’t gotten the greatest response from it.
I wonder how the rest of you feel? Do you get more out of being positive or from seeing the downside to everything so there’s no surprises?
November 12th, 2010 at 10:50 am
I’ve been told I’m a negative person a lot in my time here on Earf. So what if I LOVE Samuel Beckett and think he’s hysterical? I’m still human. I’m also damned by a monotone voice that won’t quit so when I am excited and feeling very positive about something, people always think I’m being sarcastic.
I complained about it the other day to my wife: “I’m tired of people thinking I’m negative…” And she said, “Well…”
I like the idea of a BS firewall. This is starting to ramble, so I’ll just say the sun is shining today in Baltimore. I hope it’s shining where you are. Hang in there!
November 12th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Awesome post. I can totally relate. I try to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I guess it’s a good combo of both, which has kept me mentally stable (as far as I can tell at least).
November 12th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
BS Firewall tangent: yeah, I think there’s a *huge* difference between “negative” vs. “critical”. One’s just a bummer and the other could possibly change the world.
Keep the passion. Whether you’ve got a ridiculous smile pasted on your face or not.
November 13th, 2010 at 10:16 am
My Heartmate used to call me a big ball of negative energy and I hated it(of course). But it did get me to start changing my bad habits by finding what makes me tick, trying to say YES to everything and most importantly, calming my shit down. And it’s definitely decreased to a smaller ball now.
Anyway, keep you chin up. You deserve the best because you’re super. And hello Kristy! Really great post and moving words.
November 13th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Yeah, hard some days to keep the head held above the horizon. Keeping positive quotes sprinkled around the house (ie – list of top ten on the fridge) can help at the most unexpected times.
Even though they can read a little cheesy, when you’re down in the dumps they can be a healthy, 1/2-full kind of reminder. I let ‘em load up the glass whenever I can. . . I just keep a little misery tucked away for special occassions.
x
November 15th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Thanks all for reading and giving such warm feedback. It’s reassuring that we all share these experiences and it’s exciting and inspiring that we all keep moving on, doing what we do.
And another great point, AG, about negative vs critical. I have no qualms being critical. Someone’s gotta keep the taste level correct!
November 17th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Great post! I think i might join the club as well.
December 15th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Really love this… that positivity does not come easy does it. I try try try and next thing I know I notice my companion’s eyes glazing over and looking for a way out which is when I realize I’m talking about what I can’t stand or dislike or another bad experience. Damn, why can’t I look on the brighter side. Aw well the more aware I am hopefully the better I’ll be.
January 4th, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Love this Kristy. And for the record, all due respect, but I have to disagree with your beloved husband on this one (sorry D)! Your true nature is postive. My theory… negative is relative
I’d like to submit this notion for consideration — your (or anyone else’s) “glass half-empty” viewing angle — could actually be considered a very positive, and arguably, necessary “super power” that when used sparingly, provides transparency. It enable you to keep a balance, and “see through” the BS firewall, seeing things for what they truly are. And…. when coupled with a positive and optimistic outlook, it can serve you well. It’s all about balance… ying/yang. There is positivity in negativity, and vice versa. Both are necessary, and useful. You just have trust your magic and use it wisely!
May 27th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
I stumbled upon your post quite by accident (hell I don’t even know what I googled) but when I read your post, your attitude made me laugh and reflect on myself. One thing that annoys me to no end in life sometimes is our programmed necessity to be “an outstanding member of the community and forthright” which I think is a crock. I’m starting to ramble… thank you for being real and as much as most people want it.. this Earth that we live IS actally perfect, we’re blessed to live here, it’s the people that aren’t. We’re human beings and we’re here to evolve (hopefully, not at the expense of our planet). Anywho, Laughter IS the best medicine and you certainly know that. Peace and thank you for giving me a reality check hon.
May 31st, 2011 at 9:28 am
Indeed, Chris! Thank you, and I’m glad you found it. I cannot live without laughing. Particularly at myself.
June 8th, 2011 at 11:10 am
Thanks for this post. I too stumbled upon this post, just as Chris from Reno did, and it feels like a nice little gift. As a designer who has heard: “It just isn’t the right fit.” I appreciate your perspective and humor.